


Saving You- Kenny x Ghost!Reader

by introspectiveSeeker



Category: South Park
Genre: Kenny McCormick - Freeform, Other, Reader Insert, kenneth kenny mccormick, kenny - Freeform, kenny and reader, kenny x reader, reader and kenny, reader x kenny, south park - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-20
Updated: 2014-07-20
Packaged: 2018-02-09 14:38:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1986690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/introspectiveSeeker/pseuds/introspectiveSeeker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Death loved to mock Kenny McCormick, who has long ago gotten used to dying. But Death pulls a new trick out of his sleeve, choosing to take away Kenny's best friend instead of him. But luckily, Kenny is well acquainted with death...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

Notes:

[f/n]= first name

P.O.V= Point of View

If you are a boy, please disregard the use of her or she. It’s just hard to write this story from Kenny’s point of view without settling on a gender.

 

*Reader’s P.O.V*

I bite the tip of my pencil in thought, mind trying to piece together the solution to this math problem I have been stuck on for way too long. To prove this identity, maybe if I...I try using a reciprocal identity, but to my frustration my idea did not work. Fucking pre-calculus!

I toss my head back in frustration and groan, the familiar sense of math induced stress settling in. I toss aside my homework, deciding it best to give my mind time to rest and pout about not being able to solve this problem. But my “resting” time did not last long, for I hear a familiar taping on my window.

Instead of being worried about the fact that someone was at my window during the dead of night, I walk over to the window to open it. Only one person would tap at my window at this time, and sure enough it is Kenny, orange parka covering his face and all. The first time he had decided to visit me at such an ungodly hour, he nearly gave me a heart attack with his obscured face. Now I’m used to it.

“Kenny?” I question him. “What are you doing here? Parents again?” I offer my hand and help him through the window.

“Mbbf, mbgh fhth,” he begins with his muffled attempts at talking, and I roll my eyes at him. I reach over and yank his hood off his face, blond hair tumbling down.

“You know I can’t make out what you are saying with your face covered like that,” I scold him.

He grins sheepishly at me, then proceeds to walk over to my makeshift nest on the floor and plops down on the pillows. “Yeah, the usual drunken shit. Screaming, thuds, anything they can do to annoy the hell out of me. So looks like I’m staying the night again.” He waggles his eyebrows suggestively at me.

I grab a pillow off my bed and throw it in his face. I then join him in the pile of pillows. “So then, how may I entertain my guest tonight? Not” I stop whatever he is about to say with my palm raised, “anything sexual.”

He groans and falls backwards into the pillows. “Aw man, then what else is there?” I hit his shoulder and lie down with him. A comfortable silence envelops us, and I glance at him. As carefree as he pretends to be, I can tell from his slightly scrunched eyebrows that his parents’ shenanigans upset him, despite being exposed to it so much.

“Remember,” I venture, “when we used to play house in that little tree house in the woods?”

He turns his head to me, his eyes smiling at the thought of the memory. “Yeah, I was telling you how screwed up my family is, and you just up and said ‘Then how about we make our own family?’ You were the mom, I was the dad, and we had a really beat up doll as the baby.”

“And one day,” I continue, “we just decided that we should stay together as a family. We ran away from home and tried to live in that tree house. We lasted two whole days together before our parents found us.”

He nodded at me in conformation. “And the bastards tore the tree house down.”

I smile. “Yeah, and they tried to keep us apart. Not that that stopped us.”

He gave me a wolfish grin in return. “Like they could tear us apart.” We continue talking about various topics: memories, shows, games, and other random discussions till Kenny is the first to succumb to sleep. I grab a spare blanket off my bed and place it on him, not without admiring his sleeping form. I glance at my discarded homework. Ah screw it, not like I was going to understand it anyways.

“Goodnight, Kenny,” I whisper into the night before sleep consumes me as well. 

************************************************************************

*Kenny’s P.O.V*

“Mmmmf,” I mumble into a pillow, the smell of [f/n] greeting me as I wake up. I stand up and stretch out the pains that come with sleeping on the floor. But [f/n]’s pile of pillows and blankets did help make me comfortable, so I wasn’t one to complain.

After making sure she is still asleep, I gently reach out to fiddle with [f/n]’s hair. Her sleeping form is so peaceful and innocent. [f/n] stirs so I hastily drop the strand of hair I was fiddling with.

I glance at the alarm clock on the table beside the bed. Damnit, I’ll be late for work if I don’t hurry! I rush to window, glancing at [f/n]’s sleeping form one more time. “See ya later, [f/n],” I whisper before jumping out the window and start running to the convenience store I work at.

To be honest, I could of slept at any girl’s house if I wanted to, and could even get sex out of it. I mean, I have been around a lot. But when my parents decide to be shitheads and get drunk off of their asses, the only one I want to see is [f/n], never anyone else. We were never in a relationship, but we have known each other for so long that [f/n] doesn’t mind when I stay over. Which I am grateful for, because there is nowhere I feel more comfortable at than that little bedroom strewn with miscellaneous items that represent [f/n].

I slow down once I reach the convenience store, breath huffing out in exhaustion. I really can’t afford to lose this job, I’m poor enough as it is. Luckily I made it in time, and get prepped for another day of boring-ass work. 

************************************************************************

*Reader’s P.O.V*

I shift my feet through the soft fabric of my blanket and rub my face into my pillow, relishing the dreamy state you get when you wake up on your own. I stay in a half-sleep state for a while before I finally decide it is time to get up.

I first notice that Kenny is gone, which is understandable when I glance at my alarm clock. It seems I have been sleeping for hours after his shift began. His shift should be ending soon. Maybe I’ll go see him?

Eh, why not? I mean, I could be working on my homework, but I’m not feeling it. Ok, meet Kenny it is! Having come to a decision, I get dressed and head over to the convenience store that Kenny works at.

The store bell resounds as I enter the store, my eyes scanning for the familiar orange parka. Ah, there he is! Seems like he got cash register duty, which he loves because as he always tells me, ‘I get to meet hot chicks!’ I grab a chocolate bar and slam it on the counter.

“Excuse me sir, I’d like to buy this chocolate bar. And this time keep your eyes on my face, nowhere lower thank you very much!” He smirks at me and rings in the chocolate bar.

“That’ll be a dollar and fifty-cents, but for you beautiful, fifty-cents.”

I giggle at him. “Sir, if you keep giving customers discounts you are going to get fired!”

“But I don’t give customers discounts! Just you,” he tells me with a wink.

I roll my eyes at him. “Mhmm, Kenny, I believe that. Anyways, wanna hang out after your shift ends?”

“Are you asking me out, [f/n]?”

“Kenny!” I threateningly yell at him, but my grin lets him know I’m not serious.

He throws his hands up in surrender and laughs. “Kidding, kidding! Sure, I have about ten minutes left. How about I meet you at the KFC over there? Your sexy face is too distracting for me to work seriously!”

I leave, but not after gently slapping him across the head. “Goofball!”

******************************************************************

*Kenny’s P.O.V*

Finally, it’s over! I toss off the stupid apron I have to wear, for lord knows what reason, and leave behind the store. Across the street, [f/n] is waving at me, choosing to wait outside for me instead of inside. I grin and wave back.

I start to cross the road, seeing as how the light was red, and besides, the only car approaching was a single semi truck. But when the semi rushes past the red light, I knew. Goddamnit, looks like I’m dying today. I was really looking forward to hanging out with [f/n]!

I sigh and close my eyes, waiting for the painful impact. But instead, I feel hands shove me and I am flying backwards, body slamming onto the hard pavement.

******************************************************************

*Reader’s P.O.V*

I wave at Kenny when I notice him. He grins and waves back, when I hear the sound of an approaching semi. I glance at it absentmindedly, but freeze when I notice the driver. He was reading a goddamn comic book! My blood freezes and I look at Kenny, who had already started to cross the road.

He isn’t looking at me as I a flying towards him, feet pounding on the ground and everything seeming to be in slow motion.

It’s funny, I always used to wonder if I was the type to throw my life away for another. But to be honest, shamefully I would admit that I am too much of a coward to do so. I felt guilty about it, but I always figured I would save my own skin first. But here I am, running towards Kenny (oh God please no not Kenny), without even thinking about how I could die. All that mattered, at this moment, was making sure he didn’t die.

I stretch out my arms, tossing myself at him with everything I got. I feel my hands connect with his warm body, and violently he is shoved out of the way.

Thank God, thank God, my mind hastily repeats till I feel the bone crushing impact of the semi truck. Everything gives away to blackness.

******************************************************************

*Kenny’s P.O.V*

My eyes fly open to witness the semi rushing past me, the wind roaring with it. It stops a few feet away, and I hear a door slam and loud cursing as the man witnesses what he did. The door slams again and the driver is speeding away, but the numbness taking hold of me prevents me from caring.

Blood, so much blood. The smell and sight of it makes my stomach clench in the telltale signs of oncoming vomit, but my eyes continue to follow the trail of blood. They rest on the small, distorted and twisted body that was [f/n].

The world seems to have stopped, the sound of rushing air filling my ears and my blood flowing inside of me like slush. Slowly I crawl across the hard ground to where [f/n] is, caring not about the warm blood that smears on me. Gently, I take [f/n] into my arms, moving her hair out of her face.

No, no no no NO NO NO NO! Why, why was this happening? I can’t die! I can’t die, not really, but not even [f/n] would remember when I die. But unlike the others, who unconsciously became indifferent to my death, [f/n] would cry each time.

I should have tried. I should have fucking tried to move away from the semi! Then [f/n] wouldn’t have tried to save me. [f/n] would be, [f/n] would be…

Hot tears stream down my face and my body shudders violently in sobs. I bury my face into [f/n]’s hair, holding on to her for dear life.

Never again would I see [f/n] smile, hear [f/n]’s laugh, tease her, hang out with her, feel her warm skin and soft hair. Never would I be able to kiss her, marry her, be a real family with her. Never was I able to tell her ‘I love you.’

“Oh my god, they killed [f/n]!” I hear the familiar phrase that Stan often shouted, but with my name. MY name, not [f/n]’s.

“Those bastards!” Kyle cries, with more feeling than when it was my death they would refer to.

I would come back. Always, without fail. But [f/n] was never coming back. I wish, with all my might, that I could die and stay dead. That I could go to [f/n] wherever death took her.

But I am still breathing, and hold onto [f/n] as I feel my world crashing to an end. God loved to laugh at me, at this horrible irony.

I should have been the one to die.

 

To Be Continued


	2. Chapter Two

Notes:

[f/n]= first name

P.O.V= Point of View

LARP-ing is the process of live action role play.

If you are a boy, please disregard the use of her or she. It’s just hard to write this story from Kenny’s point of view without settling on a gender.

 

*Kenny’s P.O.V*

I finger the stray thread hanging loose from [f/n]’s blanket, mind lost in thought. Ever since [f/n] died, I have been locking myself away in her bedroom. [f/n] may be gone, but this room reminds me that she used to exist. But most of all, I’m addicted to her scent that still lingers on her bed and clothes, even though she is gone.

I grab [f/n]’s pillow and bury my face in it, taking a big whiff of her scent. How much longer till the scent, too, is gone?

I’m going to be real screwed if anyone finds me in her bedroom like this. But who cares? Nothing really matters anymore.

I feel my stomach grumble yet again, but ignore it. I can die of starvation for all I care. But when I feel the intense need to piss, I begrudgingly remove myself from the warmth of [f/n]’s bed. I’ll be damned before I soil this bedroom, the only sanctuary I have left.

I pass a picture frame on my way to the window, the frame in [f/n]’ favorite color. I know the picture all too well: it is a picture of me and her when we were kids. The picture features a mini [f/n], chocolate frosting coating her face as she smears it on me by kissing my cheek. She had thrown a little party for me, once she had learned it was my birthday. [f/n] was always the one who made my birthdays fun.

I feel the tremors take hold of me again as the atmosphere of the world seems to compress me. I tear my eyes away from the photo, tears stinging my eyes. Breath hitching, I try to keep my calm as I climb out the window. I try to distract my mind from thinking about her ([f/n]’s gone, never coming back), instead focusing on something physical. I really need to piss.

*Reader’s P.O.V*

Floating. That is the feeling I have, as if I am floating along in a dreamy state. I must be sleeping. Still, how long has it been? I feel like I need to wake up now, I have been asleep for too long. But I feel comfortable, so I keep on sleeping instead of getting up.

What was it that I need to wake up for, anyways? I can’t remember, so it must not be that important. Even so, I can’t help my mind from trying to remember what it is that I am forgetting. Suddenly an image of messy blonde hair, light blue eyes, and a familiar orange parka flashes through my mind. That’s right, Kenny! I’m supposed to hang out with Kenny!

He’ll be pissed if I keep him waiting. Slowly, I force my eyes to open and adjust to waking up. Wait...what? I quickly scramble up, finding myself lying right in the middle of the road. What the fuck am I doing sleeping on the road? I dash to the sidewalk, before any cars come. 

Man, I could’ve been run over! What happened to me? I search around for someone to ask about what happened, when I notice Cartman, Stan, and Kyle huddled together. Immediately I notice that something is off with all three of them.

For one, Cartman doesn’t have the usual cocky, asshole atmosphere about him. Instead, he seems kind of subdued, which means something seriously bad must have happened. Stan is dressed like a goth, I wonder if he and Wendy broke up again. Kyle has dark bags under his eyes, a telltale sign that he hasn’t been sleeping well. 

“Guys, what’s up? Can you tell me what the hell happened?” I ask after approaching them, none of them sparing a glance at me. They don’t answer me, so I start to feel annoyed. “Hey, guys! What’s going on?” I ask a little louder. Still no response whatsoever. Okay, now I’m pissed.

Why are they ignoring me? This is just like that time everyone ignored Cartman, to the point that Cartman thought he was a ghost. Did I somehow do something that pissed everyone off?

“Guys, knock it off!” I angrily yell and reach out to grab Stan’s shoulder. My entire hand disappears, as if it went inside of Stan. I scream and yank my hand back with a lot of force. I quickly inspect my hand to see what damage was done, only to find that my hand is perfectly normal. Shaking, I look at Stan, who is acting like nothing happened.

“Stan?” I whisper, fear making my voice tremble. “Stan? Stan!” I scream, extremely desperate for him to say something, anything. He doesn’t answer. I feel panic clench my heart. I start waving my arms around and walk in a circle around them. “Stop ignoring me, please!” I sob.

Then I see it. What the guys are huddling over. A frame with my picture rests near the sidewalk, a bunch of flowers surrounding it. The kind of decoration one would set up after the death of someone because of a car accident. I start to feel nauseous when Stan finally speaks up.

“Has it really been only a week? It just feels like...it has been longer than that,” he says with a downcast look.

“I know what you mean,” Kyle tiredly agrees. “Things just haven’t been the same since [f/n] died, time seems screwed up.” Died. Died. The word echoes repeatedly in my head.

“Has anyone seen Kenny lately? That poor bastard’s been hiding himself ever since,” Cartman asks, the bite in his voice lacking its usual zeal.

“Right here…” I mutter, my breath feeling like it’s being sucked out of me. Something snaps inside and my heads jolts up. “I’m right here!” I scream louder than ever before. The intensity of the scream rips at my throat, but I keep screaming. “I’m right here! I’m right here! Notice me! Please,” I finally stop screaming and instead collapse to my knees, “notice me.” But of course, they don’t, and I am left to cry there as if I am all alone.

Suddenly, I just can’t stand being there anymore. Surrounded by people who don’t see me anymore. Everything is flying past me as I am running to my house, desperate for solitude and time to comprehend what the hell has happened to my life. Too scared to run into anyone, I don’t bother using the door and instead climb through my window.

I just stand there, in the middle of my room, as I repeat the scenario over and over in my mind. I’m dead, the resounding conclusion, slowly breaks away everything in me till I feel hollow. Out of the corner of my eye I notice my unfinished math homework. Homework that will never be finished now. Not that it matters, not that any of my efforts in school ever mattered now that I’m dead without putting anything of what I learned to use. I feel unreasonable anger directed towards the homework, and kick at it angrily.

“Dammit, God dammit!” I shout as I kick the homework multiple times for good measure. I collapse to the ground, no longer able to handle it all. I wrap my arms around my knees and bury my face in my arms. At least I don’t pass through my own body.

I sit there for a long time, tears dripping down my face. How is a ghost able to cry? But now I do notice something different about my body: I always feel cold. So very cold…

And now I remember everything that happened: the semi, Kenny, the excruciating pain...

The sound of rustling is what snaps me out of it. Someone is coming through my window! I stare at the window, unable to move, as I watch Kenny lift himself through it. His blue eyes meet my wide eyes, and time seems to have stilled, frozen in this moment. Kenny’s eyes widen, disbelief shining in them.

“[f/n]?” he whispers, looking more fragile than I have ever seen him before.

He can see me! Relief floods through me as I slowly stand up. “Kenny!” I cry out to him. Suddenly, he dashes towards me, arms outstretched. I panic and raise my arms in an attempt to stop him. He is going to pass right through me! I don’t think I have it in me to face that reality. “No, wait, Kenny stop-”

I’m interrupted when I feel his body collide with mine with so much force that we are knocked to the floor. He is now pressing me against the floor, burying his face into the crook of my neck. Unbelievingly, I lift my hand to grip the back of his parka. I can feel him. He feels so warm compared to my ice cold body. Tears flood along with relief as I lift my other hand to grip his back, holding on to him with all my might.

We stay in that position for a while till I feel him mumble into my neck. “Why?”

“Why what?” I croak out, voice still raw from tears.

He lifts himself to stare into my eyes, surprising me with the frustration reflected in them. “Why would you throw away your life just to save me?”

I stare at him for a moment, stunned. A memory stirs inside me, one from childhood. It was when everyone had started LARP-ing: humans vs. elves, all fighting for a stupid stick. And oh god, Kenny, he...he fricken dressed up like a kawaii princess! The worst part of it all is that he looked gorgeous in the Zelda dress to boot.

When I first saw him in it, I didn’t recognize him. When I found out it was him, I made fun of him like there was no tomorrow. But he just struck a pose and said “You are just jealous I look so sexy.”

Me, I dressed up as a [fighter/mage/thief/jew], looking very boyish compared to Kenny. I smirked at him. “Well good luck getting any girls when you look like one.”

He returned my smirk. Surprising me, he wrapped his arms around my neck, bringing his face close to mine. “Oh, I don’t know...I think I’d be cool with a little...girl on girl action,” he murmured seductively.

“Knock it off!” I yelled at him, embarrassed by such close contact. I pushed him away from me. “The princess shouldn’t fool around with commoners, you know.”

“But you’re not a commoner! You’re my knight in shining armor! Every princess needs a hero after all.”

I rolled my eyes but granted at him a smile. If that was the case…

I got down on one knee and took “Princess” Kenny’s hand in my own. “From this day onwards I vow to dedicate my life to protect Princess Kenny from any harm.”

“Do I get a kiss to seal the deal?” I smacked him across the head. Through the whole game Kenny managed to get kidnapped or put in danger, but at the same time I always saved him.

I smile fondly at the memory. “Remember? I promised to always protect you back when we were kids.”

Kenny, however, is not satisfied with my answer. Instead he frowns and repositions himself so he is sitting. I follow suit and sit up, already missing his contact.

“I don’t need you to protect me!” he says in a firm tone. I stare at him incredulously.

“If I didn’t protect you when that semi came you would have died!” I argued back.

“It wouldn’t have mattered!” he replied, the retort feeling like a slap to the face. I feel tears sting my eyes once again.

“How can you say that? It matters a lot to me! If you died, I-I don’t even know…” I trail off, tears making me incapable of speaking. I died to protect him! Doesn’t that make him understand how important he is to me?

He grabs my shoulders, forcing me to look him in the eyes. “No, [f/n], you don’t understand! It wouldn’t have mattered because...I can’t die.”

What? I can only stare at him in confusion. What makes him think he can’t die? “Um, how do you even know you can’t die?”

He lets go of my shoulders and avoids eye contact. “Because I have died multiple times, only to be revived the next day. Just nobody remembers me dying.”

I know Kenny is a lot of things, but he was never a liar (at least not to me anyways). But still, what he is saying is a lot to take in. “I don’t know Kenny, it’s hard to believe. I’m not saying you are lying, but maybe you are confused. Like maybe you just have dreams that you died?”

He groans in frustration. But then I see a shift in attitude, like he came up with an idea. 

“Maybe...maybe it’ll be different. Because you are a ghost,” he says, mostly talking to himself.

“Kenny, what are you-”

“Besides, if not, you won’t remember. It can’t hurt to try.” I watch him in confusion as he reaches into his pocket. My blood runs cold when he pulls out a pistol.

“No!” I scream, trying to reach out to him. “Stop don’t-”

The loud shot reverberates around my room, silencing all my pleas into nothingness.

To Be Continued


	3. Chapter Three

Notes:

[f/n]= first name

[h/c]=hair color

[e/c]=eye color

P.O.V= Point of View

If you are a boy, please disregard the use of her or she. It’s just hard to write this story from Kenny’s point of view without settling on a gender.

 

*Reader’s P.O.V*

“K-Kenny?” I whimper to the bloody form lying on my floor. “Oh no, please no!” I cry and cradle his body, still warm. But warm for how much longer? “You bastard! How could you? I’m all alone now, I needed you and you just, just…” My rant is interrupted by the sobbing that takes hold of me. I’m all alone.

I keep holding on to him, for as long as I can. Trying to savor every bit of warmth he has left. I can’t understand why he would do this. Sure, he had a crappy family life, but I have watched over him enough to know that he valued his life. Or at least, I thought he did. But he is gone, my Kenny is gone.

I close my eyes, the world becoming enveloped in black. Something tells me ghosts can’t sleep, and after time stretches into hours I figure I’m right about that. So I keep my eyes closed to imitate sleep, so that I can sleep alongside Kenny. I just want to be with him. Maybe he’ll come back as a ghost, like me. But if he doesn’t...I don’t even want to think about it.

Time passes on, when suddenly it’s gone. Kenny’s warmth is gone. My eyes fly open, only to witness nothing. Gone! Kenny, the blood, the gun, everything is gone as if it was never there. How can that be? I was holding Kenny the entire time, I would notice if someone came along and took him.

Then I hear knocking on my window, despite it being open. There stood Kenny, his orange parka blending in with the orange light of the rising sun. He grins at me, eyes shining in hopeful expectation. “Hey there, [f/n]. Miss me?”

My lips move in a wordless response. Joy, anger, relief, confusion, all mix together to form an emotional mess. Kenny walks over to me, watching me for my response. But when he gets close enough, I find my hand raising to meet his cheek in a stinging slap. Looks like anger is the first emotion I’m going to deal with.

“How could you?” I shout at him, eyes burning. “How could you make me watch you die in front of me? How could you throw everything away? I died for you and you made it all for nothing! You should have lived your life!”

“Ouch!” Kenny cries, cradling his reddened cheek in his hand. Yet he is still grinning at me. “[f/n], listen to me. I’m alive! See, the blood is completely gone and my body vanished, right? And here I am standing before you! Every time I die, it’s like everything resets the next day as if I never died in the first place. But you remembered! Nobody remembers when I die, but now you do!”

I glance at the spot where Kenny’s blood had splattered. He is right, he did vanish while I was holding him. I look back at Kenny, lifting my hand to rest it on top of his hand that was cradling his cheek. I gaze at him as I take everything in, Kenny silently gazing back. His hand is warm, meaning he is not a ghost.

“You must be like me,” Kenny whispers. “Like you have the same curse or something, because you’re back. It took longer than it does for me, but you did come back.”

Shocked, I slowly shake my head at him. “Kenny, no, I’m not like you.” I look into his eyes sadly. “I..I’m a ghost, Kenny. I’m not alive anymore.” His smile fades away, and he just stands there looking lost. Unable to keep seeing him like that, I hug him. “It’s ok, Kenny. It’s ok.”

“No, it’s not!” he shouts, holding on to me tightly. “Damn it all! It shouldn’t have been like this. I should have been hit by the truck, then we both would still be alive. I’m so sorry, I’m sorry [f/n], sorry…”

“I wouldn’t take it back,” I whisper into his shoulder, stopping his flow of apologies. “Watching you die, it hurt a lot. Even if you can be revived, I can’t stand to watch you die Kenny, not if I can help it. I’d always try to save you, without even thinking about it. You are not allowed to blame yourself, it was my decision.”

I received no reply from Kenny, only the slight tremors of his body. I silently rub his back to comfort him.

Since that day, Kenny has been living in my bedroom. We spend most of the time talking and goofing off, what with Kenny’s constant teasing. Sometimes Kenny will leave and return with a movie for us to watch. We would have played video games, but I can’t hold the controller. I love spending time with him, but something just doesn’t feel right.

The more time passes, the more I feel uneasy. Kenny has been spending so much time with me, so much so that his own life seems to have been put on pause. What’s going on with Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and the others? How is your job going? I ask Kenny such questions, but I receive no satisfactory answers. 

Eventually, the uneasy feeling becomes too much for me to handle. Kenny is wasting his life away by locking himself away in this bedroom, with somebody who is no longer alive. I don’t want him to leave me, but at the same time I love him too much to be the reason his life is put on hold.

“Kenny, I think you should start hanging out with Stan and the others again,” I tell him firmly. He frowns at me in response.

“But you can’t talk to them. Otherwise we could all hang out together.”

I shake my head at him. “No, you have to hang out with them, not me. You can’t lock yourself in here with a dead person for the rest of your life. You need your other friends too!”

Kenny looks at me with such an intense stare that if I had a heartbeat, it would have started pounding. “Maybe,” he begins, taking a strand of my hair and fiddling with it, “I like having you all to myself.” I may not have a heartbeat, but the center of my being still seems to have sensations in accordance with emotions. And right now, I am feeling an inner glow that spreads throughout my body. A tingling sensation erupts when he lifts my strand of hair to his lips, kissing it.

“K-K-Kenny,” I stammer, “what are you talking about? Don’t you have a girlfriend or two you want to see?”

“No!” he firmly tells me. He inches closer to me. “I only want you.”

“I don’t understand, you never seemed interested in me like you were with the other girls,” I tell him, feeling flustered by such close contact.

“You are not other girls. I treasure you too much to ever risk losing you. So much so that I didn’t want to risk screwing everything up by pushing for too much than what I already had. But with every girl I’ve been with, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I couldn’t stop wanting you. [f/n],” he whispers, moving ever closer, “I love you.” And with that, he presses his lips against my own.

His lips are so warm against mine. It’s like a fire is blazing inside of me, a feeling that makes me forget that I am dead. At this moment, I am alive and kissing Kenny. I kiss him back, savoring the warm softness of his lips. I am incapable of being breathless now, but Kenny still needs air, so he eventually pulls away.

My mind is rushing to formulate something meaningful to tell Kenny, but the energy in me makes me too flustered and impatient to formulate such a speech. So instead, I simply tell him “I love you too, I always did.”

The grin Kenny gives me, face flushed and eyes shining, would have made me breathless. He holds me against him, kissing me over and over again until I feel dizzy. Yet he doesn’t do anything but kiss me, which comes as a surprise. Kenny is so frisky and perverted that I always imagined he’d rush things, but to me he is actually being gentle and slow. 

We’re interrupted by knocking at my bedroom door. Shock shoots through me, along with dreadful anticipation. Is it my parents? I haven’t seen them since I died, and I feel like it would hurt too much to do so. “Go go go!” I shout at Kenny, helping him up and pushing him towards my window. He can’t be seen here, people would get the wrong idea!

But the door opens before Kenny can make it out the window. It isn’t my parents at the door, which I now realize should have been obvious because they would not knock. No, the one at the door is Stan, who is looking at Kenny with surprise.

“Kenny!” Stan cries, stepping into the room. “Is this where you have been the entire time? Everyone has been worried sick and looking for you!”

I glance at Kenny, who now looks guarded. “Hey Stan,” Kenny greets cautiously. “Yeah, I’ve been here the entire time.”

Stan shakes his head at Kenny, pity glinting in his eyes. “Look, the guys really want to see how you’re doing. Want to go play some games with us at my house?”

Kenny turns his gaze to me. “No, I’d rather stay here...alone. I’m just not ready to go out yet.”

“You can’t stay here, dude!” Stan cries. “It’s not healthy! I know you miss [f/n], we all do, but you have to let go.”

The words ‘let go’ stirs an uneasy feeling in me. Kenny has to let me go? Stan may be right, I’m not supposed to be here anymore. I’m pulling Kenny down with me. But the idea of him moving on without me makes me feel lost and saddened. I feel tears, that which defies ghost logic, trickle down my cheeks. 

Kenny notices me crying, and I watch his expression turn to that of anger. He turns back to Stan. “Are you telling me to just forget about [f/n]? I won’t do that! I love [f/n], I always will!”

“But [f/n]’s gone, Kenny! [f/n]’s not coming back, there is nothing anyone can do about that,” Stan retorts.

Kenny grabs a fistful of Stan’s shirt and drags him close. “[f/n] isn’t gone, you’re just too blind to see that.”

“Dude, let go of me!” Stan shouts, struggling to get Kenny to release Stan’s shirt. “I’m just worried about you! You’re shutting yourself away from the world. What about your job? You can’t keep doing this anymore!”

I gasp when Kenny lifts his fist and slams it into Stan’s face. “You don’t understand!” he shouts at Stan.

“Kenny, stop!” I scream. Stan staggers, clenching his fists after recovering.

“Bastard!” Stan shouts and punches Kenny in the face.

“Stop it!” I scream, trying to rip apart Stan from Kenny, who now has two fistfuls of Kenny’s parka, but my hands fly right through Stan. Kenny returns the punch.

I keep shouting stop it, but it seems neither of them can hear me. I collapse to the ground, screwing my eyes shut and willing the fight to stop. Eventually I hear Stan shout “Fine, stay here for all I care!” The sound of a slamming door marks his exit.

I open my eyes to see a beaten up Kenny, who is looking around my room for something. “[f/n]? Where are you?” The words punch me in the gut.

I stand up slowly and move so that I am standing right in front of Kenny. “Kenny, I’m right here.” But his eyes are unable to see me, for he continues scanning the room for someone who is right in front of him.

“[f/n]?” Kenny cries, panic evident in his voice. I sob, trembling at the idea of being stuck here without even Kenny as company. I desperately fling myself at him, desperate for him to notice me. To my immense relief, my body slams against his body rather than pass through it.

“[f/n]!” Kenny cries in surprise, which floods me with relief.

“Kenny, I’m right here!” I sob as I cling to him. “I was here the entire time but you couldn’t see me!”

“[f/n], you’re...you’re see-through,” Kenny says in a hushed tone. I look up to meet his frightened eyes.

“I think I’m weakening,” I respond. I cast my eyes downward, unable to look into Kenny’s eyes without bursting into tears. “Perhaps someday, you won’t be able to see me at all.” I let go and step away from him. “Kenny, I think...it’s time to let me go.”

“No!” Kenny shouts with force. He steps forward to try and hold me again, but I step away. It hurts to do so, but this is for the best. I have to say my goodbyes before Kenny can no longer see me. I know why I’m still here. It’s not Kenny who is keeping me here. It’s me, unable to let Kenny go. I have to let go.

“Kenny, I love you,” I tell him, tears shining in my eyes but with a smile on my face. “I always will. But I have to go, so this is goodbye.”

His body slams against mine in a sudden rush, arms holding me tightly against him. Maybe if he held me tight enough, I wouldn’t disappear. But I know better.

*Kenny’s P.O.V*

I hold on to [f/n], desperate to keep her here. I won’t let go, I can’t let go. Yet as I look at [f/n], I notice that gradually she is fading more and more. I can’t lose [f/n], not again!

“Goodbye,” she whispers to me. “Live a happy life, for me.”

I crash my lips to hers. Even the feel of her was fading away, but I press harder, eyes screwed shut. Faintly I feel [f/n] kissing back, for a while, till I feel nothing at all. I open my eyes to the world, a world that no longer has [f/n] in it. Once again, I find myself alone.

Numbly I look around this familiar, comforting room. The photographs of our memories together seem to shine out at me, blurred by the tears in my eyes. It all hurts too much, but at the same time these memories are the most important to me.

All I want to do is lock myself away again. But [f/n] didn’t want that. If I can’t die and join her, then I’ll live in her honor. So I turn my back the the precious world I had known, and make way to the window that has welcomed me time and time again.

Goodbye, my one true love.

****************************************************************

The morning sun glares through my window, waking me from my dreamless sleep. Yesterday’s events play through my mind, painfully reminding me that [f/n] is gone. In a hazy state, I throw on my usual attire to start off my day.

Knocking at my door snaps me out of my trance like state. Maybe it’s Stan. I do

need to apologise for our fight the other day.

But when I open the door, it is [h/c] hair and [e/c] eyes that greet me, along with a familiar grin that always made my heart skip a beat.

“Looks like I am like you,” [f/n] says with a twinkle in her eyes. “Back from the dead and in the flesh, like it never happened in the first place.”

The kiss I gave her was the most passionate kiss I ever gave. “I know what you mean, watching you die hurts way too much,” I breathily tell her after pulling away. “How about we both try our best to keep from dying?”

“Deal!” she agrees, and brings me in for another kiss.

Who knows how she got the same curse as me. Maybe it’s because it was me, the cursed one, she died for. Maybe she always had the curse. But honestly, who cares? As long as I have [f/n], nothing else matters. Screw death, I’d rather not deal with him, but at least he gave [f/n] back.

With every breath and life I live, it shall be spent loving [f/n]. My life (ok lives) means everything thanks to her. Together, our real life begins now.

The End


End file.
